


The Waters Edge

by DonutHolesX0



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Character Study, Dreams and Nightmares, Guilt, contemplating life lost, or at least trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27552685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonutHolesX0/pseuds/DonutHolesX0
Summary: Ao misses the water, the smell of the oceans always brought him serenity. Especially when he thinks about the things he has done and places he misses.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	The Waters Edge

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short character fic I felt like writing. Also inspired by the lovely TimetheHobo's piece, https://timethehobo.tumblr.com/post/187781656638/still-exhausted-drew-an-ao-contemplating-about
> 
> Hope you enjoy it?

“So what have you been up to?”

The sound of screws and small bits of metal clanked around in the office of one doctor, chatting to his patient sitting on the other end of his desk, leaning back carefree in his chair.

“Not a lot. Still just travelling.” He lied. Ao had spent most of his days tracking down resources for Kara, it just happened that his last mission involved a very determined individual. It didn’t take him long to finish them off, but it did lead him to another visit to Dr Tono’s clinic.

“Well travelling is still something, you’re outside getting fresh air and sunshine; interacting with your surroundings; it’s good therapy.” The doctor reassured him, “Now, could you tell me how you managed to do this?” He waved his badly scratched arm back at Ao.

“It fell off again. I guess I didn’t attach it properly so when I went to throw a ball some kids had left behind, it came off with it.” Ao had become adept to this kind of small talk. Anything that appeared as him fitting well within the crowd, Katasuke would just nod and eat it up.

“Oh dear.” Katasuke tutted, “I can imagine how frightened they must’ve been watching someones arm just launch off!” He said letting out a hearty laugh.

“It certainly was.” Ao responded with a fake considerate laugh. That nin certainly was surprised indeed.

“Looks like I’ll have to add another few replacement screws. You really need to be more careful, Sir Ao! I prefer if we would meet outside rather than in here.” Standing up he placed the arm next to a pile of spare parts and tools, rummaging through a few drawers to collect the parts he needed.

“Sorry Doctor, I’ll try my best from now on.” His response rewarded him another bright naïve smile from Katasuke. Ao stretched back on his chair, loosening the knots in his neck as he stared off into space, he considered himself lucky that task would be his last for a while. They said they needed time to deal with the new information and resources he collected for them. Heavily sighing, he didn’t care about what they were planning anymore, he just wanted to spend these precious days not being ordered or thrown around by people he didn’t have a care about.

“Oh! I almost forgot, I’ve got a surprise for you~” The doctor interrupted his daydream in a sing-song, Ao lifted his head up bewildered, and slightly fearful, at what he meant.

Reaching under his desk and opening up a heavy metal drawer, he placed a couple of battery packs out before revealing his surprise, “Ta-da! A new arm to test!”

Ao’s gripped onto his jacket, trying his hardest to keep a straight face, _“Not again..”_

“Oh. How.. nice.” He tried to smile, but couldn’t quite curl the corners of his mouth, instead the look he gave him an extremely pained smile. Dr Katasuke always had new things to experiment on Ao, he felt indifferent about it for the meantime, being useful in these situations didn’t bother him too much. However there were moments where all he felt like was a test mouse to him.

“How long will this take?” Ao sighed rubbing his eye.

“Oh not long, I just want to you to give it a test run.” Katasuke walked towards his arm, lifting his stump he didn’t bother asking as he clicked the metal piece together, starting up a small whirring sound. Ao winced, he couldn’t read the new calibration and it tightly squeezed around the flesh of his stump more than his usual arm.

“Any tightness or uneasy motion?” Katasuke asked, using a screwdriver to tighten a few additional screws.

“It’s a little tight, but bearable.” Ao grumbled, the weight of this arm pulling him down, he hoped that whatever this arms functions had wasn’t going to cause problems, unlike the last time which ended up in an overnight hospital stay.

“Perfect! Have a bit of a move and tell me how you think.” Katasuke grinned ear to ear, letting Ao to familiarise himself to the new tech.

Observing this new arm, it’s appearance not too different from his usual arm, the only visible outlier being the various multi-coloured wires sticking out in unusual spots. With the addition of smooth, almost translucent, porcelain coloured pads on the inside of his palm, trailing up its fingers.

“It feels heavy.” Ao noted, still taking time to move his new set of fingers.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to find better material. That’s something I’ll keep in mind for the future!” Katasuke again beamed with obnoxious optimism. Moving behind his desk again he pulled out something from his drawer, something very fluffy and obnoxiously yellow. “Now, can you pick up this pillow?”

Ao looked at him quite puzzled, and slightly irritated, “You want me.. to pick this up?” He questioned.

“Yes! Go ahead.” He said attentively looking at Ao, trying to keep his hands still.

This almost reminded him of when he first started his rehabilitation. Reluctantly he leaned over and grabbed it. As he made contact with it he felt something crawled up his arm, goosebumps hitting his neck and sending shivers coursing through him. He quickly let go, _“Wait..”_ He thought to himself, that couldn’t be right. He felt something. Crawl up his prosthetic arm.

“Amazing isn’t it! How did it feel?” The doctor exclaimed like a hyperactive child, keeping his eyes locked onto the twisted of its fingers.

“Weird.” Ao could only utter.

“I worked on this all night for your visit today. We’ve been trying for so long I think we’ve almost got the formula to finally allowing patients to feel things in our new prosthetics! Isn’t that great? You’re the first person I wanted to test this on.” Katasuke blabbered, trying to not jump up and down from excitement.

All of Katasuke’s words passed by Ao’s ears, his only focus was on those translucent fingertips. Rubbing the index finger and thumb together he could feel something familiar, almost daunting as he shivered at the touch.

“Although It’s not quite ready. I still have to figure out the nerve wiring before we can start implanting it into people.” Taking his arm once more to check the palm portion of the prosthetic.

“That sounds.. riveting.” Ao responded, darting his eye away from him yet again.

Soon the doctor unhinged and freed him the prosthetics tight grasp, zoning out during the doctors long drag of instructions he had heard countless times before. He kept looking back at those porcelain coloured pads splayed out on his desk. Uncertain emotions coursed through him, no thoughts circled his mind either, all he could do was stare and say nothing. 

"Are you alright? Sir Ao?" The sound of a question brought him back. "Yes, doctor I'm quite alright." He said clearing his throat. 

"Well in that case, you're all free to go!" Katasuke chirped, Ao looked at him confused, until he looked down. He hardly noticed the doctor had fixed his usual arm back on again. 

“Anyway its good to see you in good health, keep me posted if any troubles arise alright?” Katasuke said, giving him a confident thumbs up.

“Of course. Until then.” Ao bowed, exiting the office.

He looked down at his regular prosthetic again, stretching his fingers and closing it into a fist, it had been so long since he was able to actually feel something in his hand, for Katasuke to develop something like that..

The doctor even looked happier than he’s ever seen him, the way he looked so proud and excited for him, working hard to allow him to feel things again in his arm.

It made his blood boil and curl. A rising chill entered his heart and lungs, he resisted the need to scratch at his neck. Leaning against the wall he rubbed the bridge of his nose, he needed to go somewhere, clear his head.

———

Resting his head on the beam of the platform he watched as the train came to a hissing stop, and large groups of commuters flooding out from the doors. Ao stepped back to allow more room for them to exit the platform, and avoid being touched by any of them.

Boarding the train, he picked an isolated spot on the side right next to a window and where the sun didn’t shine directly towards him.

Once the train was full it huffed to life, moving out from the station and travelling to its destination. Ao leant against the windowsill watching the scenery go by him, the bright flashes of green came and went across his eye. It didn’t matter where he went, he just liked being on the train, it allowed him to just be numb for however long he wanted, he wouldn’t think, just let himself assimilate into the background. He had lost track of the years since then, after the attacks his shame and pride refused to let him return home, instead exiling himself to a damned life in a village he never favoured.

Spotting a long stretch of blue, its glistening surface reflected and shone in his glassy eye, interrupting his pitiful thoughts.

How long has it been since he saw the ocean?

He could feel a pull, like his heart aching from the sight and throwing itself towards it. _“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to stop.”_

Getting off from the train. The noise already started to get to him, the laughter and screeching of kids made his hair stand on edge, quickly he made his way through the crowd to find the exit.

Once he made it out of the station, he observed his strange new surroundings, he definitely landed in some kind of tourist destination. Signs and bright coloured banners streamed everywhere, telling the public where to go or where to spend needless amounts of money.

Ao ignored all the signs, he only stopped here to see one thing. Walking along the stone path he ignored the noise and followed his instinct, passing by the buildings and people, crossing over where the stone path ended and a long dirt path began.

Further walking he noticed a crossroad, an ageing wooden pole standing as its divider, the old arrows with faded carvings were almost illegible from the years that wore it down. He sensed that it pointed him in the right direction of his destination. Ao walked slowly along a small dirt path, carved from the many others who also sought what laid beyond that sign. Stepping over overgrown vines and treading through long grass, unusual terrain for somewhere that is close to a supposed beach.

Ahead of him, he spotted an opening, a small hole in the bushes. Surely this wasn’t the way? Getting up close to the entrance he observed the path, he admitted it was bigger than he thought from afar, however its top reached only up to his chest, looking through it appeared to stretch a long way out.

He had a hunch this was the way to go. Stretching his chest to prepare himself for the trek, he ducked his head down and carefully treaded his way through, pushing away the stray branches that stuck out in front of him.

At the end of that trail, another patch of tall trees following aside yet another long dirt path, the sun soaking through the leaves making a rippling pattern on the ground. Ao attempted to lean back stretch, the clicks and pops from his spine reminded him of his age, there were so many knots he couldn’t reach.

Through the patches of trees he finally found an undisturbed clearing, a dirt mound that treaded uphill. Today really was a workout for him, picking up the sides of his coat he marched up the mound, he could feel his knees scraping together, grabbing onto the branches to hold himself up. Finally, his efforts were rewarded as he reached the top, greeted by a gust of cool salty air. There it was.

Bright shimmering water stretching out for miles, the light reflecting from the water shone in his eye. Looking around the desolate beach, there wasn’t anyone here but him. The corners of his mouth turned up at his observation.

Carefully sliding down the mound his feet met where the beach sand started and the earthy soil ended, leaning down to the ground he dug his hands into the smooth sand, scooping some and lifting it up, opening his fingers to watch the grains fall back to the ground, it felt like fine silk.

Ao could already hear the doctor interrogating him about how sand managed to find its way into his prosthetics, but he didn’t care. He relished in each passing grain intertwining between the fingers in his right hand, for a moment he could almost feel it in his left.

Stepping onto the familiar sinking sand filling up his sandal and other prosthetic, he knew he would need to to dust them out later, for now he just enjoyed the nostalgia and the memories that followed. Walking up to the edge, the sound waves softly lapping against the shore was like a symphony to his ears. He couldn’t wait any longer, he ripped off his sandal and rolled up his pant legs and treaded into the water

The breeze felt so soothing, its touch slipping past his left cheek, his hair dancing along with the winds song. For the first time in so long, he felt calm.

Ao didn’t realise how late in the day it was, the sun already disappearing off into the horizon, creating a golden hue and just below it a distinct purple hue creeping up afar from the dark water.

Closing his eyes for a second, planting his feet at the just near where the water meets the sand. A small wave crawled over, the soft wave washing over his toes. Shutting his eye to block out everything else, he contemplated and listened to the sounds of the waves.

Flashes of his former life spun behind his eyelid, the crashing seas that collided with the mountains near Kirigakure, his earrings that would flap in the wind everywhere he ran, and all the countless times he crossed those rope bridges aiding the two people he once cared about more than his own life.

What would they think of him now? He predicted Chōjūrō would be the same, even with the fact that he’s suppose to be an adult now. He would flash those sharp teeth of his in a goofy smile and comment about something he’d say. He didn’t know why he chose to sharpen them or perhaps it was genetics, he didn’t bother to ask.

Perhaps.. he should have.

He remembered the day he found out Chōjūrō was to become the next Mizukage, it didn’t surprise him at all, the way he was going and how much Mei doted on him he knew it would happen one way or another. He watched the last snippets of his inauguration, a brief newscast that was airing on the tv the hospital had during his last check up. He had grown so much, he swore he was taller than him now.

Burying his toes further into the sand, the only person he hadn’t seen, was the Fifth Mizukage herself. Not a day went by did he think about how she was. Was she still her spitfire self? Or perhaps she had finally found someone to settle down with.

Then.. did they replace him?

Had they found someone else to quickly fill in his role? The very thought of this fabricated person made him bubble with envy. How they would be constantly at Mei’s side, helping and talking to her about her quarrels, that position had always belonged to him. How could anyone be good enough to fill his shoes?

Ao raised his arms to slap the slides of his cheeks, getting himself to snap out of those tainting thoughts. He forget how distracting they could get, and they have only gotten worse as each year passed. But he couldn’t help but wonder.. If the doctor was successful, he could feel the sand once more with both his hands, feel the waters touch with his left leg. Maybe everything could be the same as before. Like the attack never happened. Maybe he could have the dignity to finally return home.

No. That was all wishful thinking on his part, he was apart of Kara now and he had to keep reminding himself about it. No amount of imagination or self-indulgent fantasies could pry him away from the blatant truth staring into his remaining eye. His stomach twisted and churned thinking of it, as that floated by his mind, his heart ached at the thought he had buried deep down inside of him.

Could he ever see them again?

If he did he had a feeling it may not be in this world. Now that he was caught up in something much bigger than him, his life was forfeit, he gave up everything for what? Perhaps this is his judgement, for everything he had done in his life. He could feel a cold hand wrap around his arm, followed by another, and the whispering of something itched at his ear. He quickly covered his ears to drown out the nonexistent noise, he wanted to leap into the water to drown out the sound. Swim away into the deep blue waves to avoid confronting the matter at hand. Instead he curled up his legs close to his chest, and loudly coaxed the thoughts to fade away into the back of his mind, focusing his fluttering eye to the needed attention of the sun slowly set in the distance.

———

Opening his eye, blinking a couple of times gazing at the sight in front of him. A rope bridge, the same ones that stretched across the mountains leading to Kirigakure. Standing at the entrance, observing the aged wood and frayed rope that kept the old bridge up. Ahead he could see something off far in the distance amongst the mist. He squinted his left eye trying to make out what stood through the thick mist that engulfed half the bridge, there he saw two figures standing in the middle.

Opening his mouth to speak, he wanted to call out to them, ask who they were or if they were even alive. But as he spoke, he found nothing but air escape his throat. Clasping his throat, he didn’t feel anything different, yet there was no sound, he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing.

The figures started walking away, he could see their backs turned to him. He didn’t want them to go. He called out to them, but nothing came from his throat. He had to go after them, looking at the brittle boards he became hesitant, stepping on the first board and placing his whole weight on it, with a loud crack it snapped in two. His arm grabbed onto the rope to catch his fall, if he hadn’t he was sure he would fall through.

They were fading fast, he had to make a decision now, it was either he stayed there and never catch them or try his luck running across before the rest of the boards fell together with him. Clinging onto the rope, his heart racing in his chest, he decided to run. Counting in his head, taking a breath he let go of the rope and lunged forward, his legs dashing across each of the boards as light as he could, almost jumping across many boards at once.

He could see them, the figures becoming darker to closer he got. He wouldn’t let the snapping and cracking of each board he left behind get to him, he couldn’t afford to stop and look behind, he was so close. Only an arm length away he leaped with all his might, extending his hand towards them, his fingers barely brushed the back of one of the familiar, taller figure.

Only to slip as he grasped at the whispery mist, falling down towards the ground, his metal foot caught the last board and split, feeling as light as the air he went crashing through the bridge, the splintering wood cutting him on the way down. He couldn’t do anything to prevent himself helplessly falling through the mist, no scream or cry joining him as he watched the fading figures stop and watch him fall, the bridge disappeared from his eye.

With no ground to hit, the fall slingshotted him back to the waking world with a violent jerk of his body, kicking some water up in the process. Clutching his chest and gasping for air, he ruffled his hair and rubbed his foot deep into the soft sand, seeking to ground himself from the hellish fall he had been subjected to.

The air around him had become still, the sun already left, and the stars above him had made appearance, shining ever so bright in the dark sky. It was about time he head back.

———

It was a little harder to see where he was going, slipping on rocks and leaves on the way back through the dirt path. Even the trail itself felt windier, reluctant to let him pass through their branches. He pressed a small button on the knuckles of his prosthetic, and out came a small globe shining out a bright white light. Out of all the accessories the doctor wanted to put on him, he felt glad this was the default one he put in. Now that he could see, he could continue.

Patting away the stray leaves that caught onto him, everything looked so different at night, the long brick road had no one in sight, all the lanterns were lit emitting off a bright orange light. It felt good to know there wasn’t anyone around, no more relentless screaming or suffocating crowd for him to lose himself in.

There were still a few trains running, there to collect the last few stragglers who decided to stay longer. Walking across the staggered lit corridor of the station, the only sound there was that of his metal foot that echoed off the dampened walls. Everything looked much more different than during the day, he couldn’t remember which exit or entrance he came out of. His eye caught something, a large metal sheet hanging in the middle of two hallways. Looking up he squinted to examine the signs,

CENTRAL TRAIN STATIONDIRECT TRANSFER TO SEAPORT

< >

DIRECT TRANSFER TO SUNAGAKURE BOATS TO KUMOGAKURE & KIRIGAKURE

His shoulders tensed and a coil struggled in his stomach. He could do it. _“It’s just one train and boat ride away. I could get there by sunset. I could..”_

In the middle of his thoughts his weight shifted as someone bumped into his arm, knocking him off balance, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there.” Ao looked at the culprit who disrupted him, standing before him was a woman, looking quite ashamed, while holding a small sleeping child in her arms.

“It’s alright, no harm was done.” He said putting on a fake smile to comfort her. _“Watch where you’re going next time.”_ He said aloud in his head, he didn’t feel the need to scold someone right now.

“Are you heading towards the seaport? I think the last train is about to leave, you should hurry.” She informed him. He didn’t say anything. Ao looked over to the sign once more. This could be his chance to go.

The woman just stared at him confused and slightly intimidated over his silence, “Well.. I’m very sorry for disturbing into you, please excuse us.” She bowed apologetically once more, hurrying off towards the direction of the seaport train.

Clenching his fist, the scraping of his metal fingers gliding over one another only made his grip tighter. He’d come to hate that sound, because to him.. that sound was a reminder. He turned left, darting down the tunnel, striding with large steps to take him away from the temptation.

Boarding the train, there were hardly any people this time. Most were other lonesome passengers or parents carrying their tired kids on their backs or laying across the seat. It felt almost unsettling how peaceful it was.

Staring back at the platform, he chuckled to himself. Like he would actually go for it. It’s been years since then, he already made peace with the fact he can never go back. This was the path he chose for himself. He had to see it out whether he liked it or not. Grabbing the fabric near his chest, “Stop it.” He clenched his teeth.

As the train began to chuff on again, screeching to life, he gave one last glance at the navy blue landscape, and watched it slowly vanish behind a sea of dark trees.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope this wasn't too boring for some, I'm a sucker for character studies aha.


End file.
